[ He blinks his surprise at her choice of words; she could mean the dagger, she could mean either of them from what she's told him about herself before she met the Loki from Tevinter. It's probably for the best that he presumes she means all of it.
His expression softens as Loki takes the dagger from her. ]
I don't know how I could forget, having met you.
[ There's a great measure of care as he lifts the blade to her hair, holds it steady, and shears off the curls wound around his finger. With a small flourish the blade is set aside on the bedspread and he brings his hand into the space between them to show her what he's cut. ]
Thank you. It means... so much. No one has ever granted me a token before.
[ It's strangeβ and oddly thrillingβ to see it parted from her; she can't remember having her hair cut at all. Not once, save for little trims of the ends to keep it healthy. And now there it is, separate and wrapped around Loki's elegant finger much as she is. ]
It means much to me as well.
[ Alexandrie smooths out the ribbon she had tied her braid with, folds it in half to shorten it, and finds the end of the strands he holds so she can tie them neatly together. Smiles at him again, a shy little curve. ]
[ Loki tilts his head at that admission; he's clearly having a difficult time imagining why those who have missed her would not have asked for something to keep with them, amongst their things, close to their heart as they're separated. It seems so easy and she's yet to have turned down any request he's made of her. Surely others have known her to be the same. ]
Then the others are fools, [ he states simply, uncoiling the hair from around his finger now that she's fastened it with the ribbon. There's clearly no other explanation. ]
[ Her eyes drop demurely for a moment, the corners of her smile twitching higher along with a little huff of mirthful air from her nose.
A gentle chideβ ]
Do not be unkind to them.
[ βbut she leans to kiss his cheek to show she's thankful for the thought all the same. ]
I am sure Byerly has his reasons.
[ It may well have been trained out of him, the keeping of sentimental things. Or perhaps he does not think himself important enough to ask. She doesn't know. It doesn't hurt, but nor does it joy her as this does. ]
And he... [ A pause, and then there is the heart-pierced ache in her eyes that belongs to her husband. ]
He might have kept something without telling me. I did so. If he did not, Iβ [ she shakes her head slowlyβ ] we were so sure. So sure that any distance or time was only temporary, that we were already together again because every return was already promised.
[ It had been so true that truth itself had broken the moment she first began to consider that he wasn't coming back. It is still a tenuous thing, her belief that anything can stay, and what little exists is cobbled together of faith and hope. No trust. ]
If there are to be fools, let them be he and I.
[ Alexandrie pauses then, her breath catching as it is drawn through a smile that trembles. She raises a hand to cup his cheek, stroke it gently with her thumb. ]
I do not know what to do, now. It feels my choices are to be a fool again or be afraid.
[ Loki accepts her kiss with grace, letting his eyes close briefly and only raising his eyebrows at the mention of Byerly. He's a very strange man, by his measure, and is made even stranger by the impossibility to get a good read on, but he's important to Alexandrie and so he won't repeat himself about it.
The rest of it...
He feels a little bad, for being flippant about her husband's lack of foresight. In his position, Loki definitely would have stolen something of Alexandrie's to take with him across the continent. There's no reason to presume it hadn't been the same for d'Asgard.
His hand comes up to cover hers at his cheek. It isn't fair, the things she's lost to war. That she doesn't know one way or another.
The wish that he could do something about it is in his bones, but what, exactly, escapes him still. ]
I would rather you not be afraid.
[ He knows he has very little control over that reality. ]
[ And she is. Trying. Trembling near tears or not, Alexandrie still wears a smile, and her eyes are full of those remnants of faith and hope she has collected rather than despair. ]
It helps, to have your songs to reach for when I miss you. To know you miss me enough to wish to carry a remembrance from me. To be close to you when you are here.
[ She shifts now, seeking after that selfsame comfort of leaning against him, tucking her head at his shoulder. ]
[ He can see it in the way she holds herself even when she's near tears, hears it in her voice even when they've been separated. They are both creatures that have grown too accustomed to their own suffering for their own good, but that doesn't mean either of them wants to be afraid of the future, of what might happen to them.
As she leans he wraps his arm around her again, tucking her head beneath his chin and breathing out softly. ] I know.
Time is probably our best bet.
[ He likes the idea that they have that time to work with. ]
[ She is quiet like this, tucked against him. Even though she can't quite think of 'time' without a little spike of anticipatory loss, or allow herself to see the future spreading for them like bright fields without pulling back as if touching it will burn, he makes her quiet.
She will have to learn again to feel safe in other than the present, but for nowβ ]
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His expression softens as Loki takes the dagger from her. ]
I don't know how I could forget, having met you.
[ There's a great measure of care as he lifts the blade to her hair, holds it steady, and shears off the curls wound around his finger. With a small flourish the blade is set aside on the bedspread and he brings his hand into the space between them to show her what he's cut. ]
Thank you. It means... so much. No one has ever granted me a token before.
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It means much to me as well.
[ Alexandrie smooths out the ribbon she had tied her braid with, folds it in half to shorten it, and finds the end of the strands he holds so she can tie them neatly together. Smiles at him again, a shy little curve. ]
No one who has missed me has ever asked.
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Then the others are fools, [ he states simply, uncoiling the hair from around his finger now that she's fastened it with the ribbon. There's clearly no other explanation. ]
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A gentle chideβ ]
Do not be unkind to them.
[ βbut she leans to kiss his cheek to show she's thankful for the thought all the same. ]
I am sure Byerly has his reasons.
[ It may well have been trained out of him, the keeping of sentimental things. Or perhaps he does not think himself important enough to ask. She doesn't know. It doesn't hurt, but nor does it joy her as this does. ]
And he... [ A pause, and then there is the heart-pierced ache in her eyes that belongs to her husband. ]
He might have kept something without telling me. I did so. If he did not, Iβ [ she shakes her head slowlyβ ] we were so sure. So sure that any distance or time was only temporary, that we were already together again because every return was already promised.
[ It had been so true that truth itself had broken the moment she first began to consider that he wasn't coming back. It is still a tenuous thing, her belief that anything can stay, and what little exists is cobbled together of faith and hope. No trust. ]
If there are to be fools, let them be he and I.
[ Alexandrie pauses then, her breath catching as it is drawn through a smile that trembles. She raises a hand to cup his cheek, stroke it gently with her thumb. ]
I do not know what to do, now. It feels my choices are to be a fool again or be afraid.
no subject
The rest of it...
He feels a little bad, for being flippant about her husband's lack of foresight. In his position, Loki definitely would have stolen something of Alexandrie's to take with him across the continent. There's no reason to presume it hadn't been the same for d'Asgard.
His hand comes up to cover hers at his cheek. It isn't fair, the things she's lost to war. That she doesn't know one way or another.
The wish that he could do something about it is in his bones, but what, exactly, escapes him still. ]
I would rather you not be afraid.
[ He knows he has very little control over that reality. ]
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I am trying.
[ And she is. Trying. Trembling near tears or not, Alexandrie still wears a smile, and her eyes are full of those remnants of faith and hope she has collected rather than despair. ]
It helps, to have your songs to reach for when I miss you. To know you miss me enough to wish to carry a remembrance from me. To be close to you when you are here.
[ She shifts now, seeking after that selfsame comfort of leaning against him, tucking her head at his shoulder. ]
Perhaps the rest is time.
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[ He can see it in the way she holds herself even when she's near tears, hears it in her voice even when they've been separated. They are both creatures that have grown too accustomed to their own suffering for their own good, but that doesn't mean either of them wants to be afraid of the future, of what might happen to them.
As she leans he wraps his arm around her again, tucking her head beneath his chin and breathing out softly. ] I know.
Time is probably our best bet.
[ He likes the idea that they have that time to work with. ]
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She will have to learn again to feel safe in other than the present, but for nowβ ]
Thank you, [ she says, ] for the stars.
And for coming back.